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let’s be nice

I’m going to get vulnerable here. I’ve stated this before in short facebook format, but I want to take the longer blog form to say ….

I am tired of the mindset that “skinny people have no problems and if they do, it’s a mistake. because skinny people have no problems.” (also, “skinny” is extremely relative. and while i recognize that people consider me so compared to what they know, I have not identified as skinny for years)

Things from my real life that I would love to not hear again:

  • I know that shopping for clothes isn’t a problem for you because you’re skinny. (guess we’ve never shopped together, but it would be nice to get invited to join you.)
  • That fits you + <dismissive gesture> (just because an article of clothing can go over my head does not mean that it fits)
  • High cholesterol? But you’re skinny! (most recent offense)
  • You’re two size bigger than you were five years ago? No way! (buying new clothes for kicks and giggles never happens because of the first item above.)
  • You don’t really need to be in this wellness program, do you? (instead of being judgy, being curious would be a better approach, thank you)

Compassionate things that my mother, siblings, children, and friends have said:

  • Well, it’s your body and your clothes, and you’re living it. I think you look fine, but I believe you.
  • She said what? I’ll talk to her.
  • Why didn’t (Grandma, rude co-worker, random person on the street) think you could have an issue? It’s pretty common to be honest.

Where is human dignity and respect? What is the source of the assumptions behind these rude statements?

If you’re married, then you might have marriage problems. If you’re a runner, then you might have runner problems. If you have an occupation, then you might have occupational problems. If you have feet, then you might have foot problems. If you have body, then you might have body problems.

If we’re all human, it’s conceivable that we all have variations of the same problems.

What part of your life needs more compassionate comments from people? Tell me in the comments.

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